Do you Fantasize about a Different Life?
For many of us our pandemic experiences, as many and as varied as they have been, have given us time to slow down and reflect a bit on the meaning of life and especially the meaning of OUR life.
Is there something about your life that you would like to be different? Are you searching for something but don’t know what it is? Are you thinking about a career change?
You are probably aware of the adage, ‘If you want to change something, you have to change something you do’.
So maybe you have tried to change something, but it was too hard, or it didn’t work? Did you feel as if something was stopping you from making the changes you wanted to make?
Often it is our own beliefs that get in our way. You may be aware of these beliefs or not.
These types of beliefs that usually originate in childhood and are negatively impacting our adult life, are often called Limiting Beliefs because they limit what we can and do achieve. Limiting beliefs are where negative self-talk stems from. They are deep rooted beliefs or assumptions that we hold about ourselves, other people and life in general. Most often, such beliefs are incorrect and completely unhelpful. As we know, we usually learn these beliefs from our parents, peers, teachers, and the larger society that we grew up in. Most people tend to take these beliefs for granted and don't even realise that they're beliefs at all. We just assume that they are true!
You can find more out about how your beliefs can run your life in this blog post https://www.carolynscoaching.com/post/are-your-beliefs-running-your-life
What limiting beliefs are you holding on to, and how are they running your life? Do you think they might be stopping you from making the changes you would like to make?
There are many ways you can release limiting beliefs and in my online course Five Steps to Conquering your Limiting Beliefs I explain several ways you can do this. You can download this free course here.
Recently I reread ‘Loving What Is’ by Byron Katie. In this book she describes a simple system which she calls ‘The Work’. Byron Katie says that All the suffering that goes on inside our minds is not reality. It's just a story we torture ourselves with. The Work is based on 4 questions to ask yourself when you have a negative thought to help you release your limiting beliefs. The questions are:
1. Is it true?
2 Can you absolutely know that it is true?
This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
With this question, you start to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? 4. Who would you be without that thought?
How would your life be different if you didn't have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?
This is a really interesting question because we may be sub consciously holding on to a belief because it gives us some sort of ‘pay off ’. By this I mean that there may be some sort of unintended protection from a difficult situation or possibly failure. So, the ‘pay off’ is that we stay in our comfort zone and don’t take any risks. When we realise how this belief has been keeping us stuck it is much easier to release it and move forward. And then you ‘turnaround’ that thought to the opposite or a positive version. The "turnaround" gives you an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.
Do you think the YOU may have some limiting beliefs that you would like to get rid of?
In my online course Five steps to Conquering your Limiting Beliefs, I walk you through the stages of first becoming aware of your beliefs to eventually releasing or changing them. When you do this, you will be able to remove your blocks and move forward to achieve what you are trying to achieve and become the person you want to be.
You can also find more about four common limiting beliefs here https://www.carolynscoaching.com/post/discover-four-common-limiting-beliefs and about how our beliefs affect our thought and behaviour here; https://www.carolynscoaching.com/post/what-is-your-negative-self-talk-telling-you
If courses aren’t your thing and you would like to work one to one with me, schedule a complimentary discovery call here.